we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
