That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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