tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I need to calm my uterus...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
