THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
