i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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