Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
