I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize