As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
