First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
