Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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