I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
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That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
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I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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