I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
