i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i think i have two assholes
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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