so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
