so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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