i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize