I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Alive.
So much puke
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
