dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
