member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
