she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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