OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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