he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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