By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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