This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Randomize
