i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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