You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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