its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Green mimosas i think yes
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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