hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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