so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just gift wrapped bread.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
