Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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