I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I've blown a few things in my day
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
