I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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