the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
