she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
