we have pet lesbian snakes
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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