then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
