Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
