if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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