I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
