He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
