i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
