I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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