i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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