So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
