okay pat passed out under dana's car
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
