your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We named our party play list daddy issues
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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