five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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