I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
