I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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