fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
