you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
