"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
