I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
