I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...