I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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