Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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