I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize