you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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