What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
